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Robot

from Prom by Empty Disco

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lyrics

Everybody is a robot
The same laws govern everybody
Like when to beep and when to squeak
when to tell puny humans to run and flee
Everybody is a robot
Privy to their robot code
That tells them all when to eat and when to dream
and how to deal with it when their robot hearts explode

But I missed a lesson back in robot school when we were young
I must have been reading Harry Potter or the science of the sun
I never made it to that party that you see when you think of young
Not being a good robot isn't much fun

And since the point of robots is respecting code and rules and space
and since my idea of the rules is sort of all over the place
I couldn't navigate a ship, or if I tried I'd lose the race

I'm sorry I am not a robot
I'm sorry I'm not a robot
I don't know how to be a robot
Like you all seem to
Can't you tell I'm not a robot
Do I want to be a robot
And do everything the other robots do?

Like build relationship effectively with confidence
And find your way to other people's homes
Like dance well at big parties and know how to french kiss
Without feeling just as sexy as a robot garden gnome
Or fall into temptation that is stagnant creativity
And really caring what your parents say
Not saying it's not effective, robots are super effective
But maybe their life isn't just a big partay

I'm still sorry I'm not a robot
I'm sorry I'm not a robot
I don't know how to be a robot
Like you all seem to
Can't you tell I'm not a robot
Do I want to be a robot
And do everything the other robots do?

On the other hand, I've heard from all my
demi-robot cyborg friends
that still manage to get a date to prom (after freaking out about it)
that what I'm feeling is quite normal as in
them every day normal and
all robots walk around feeling kind of horrible

So maybe I'm a robot tree
My growth was stunted, but happy
I got enlightenment from awkward angles
They say it but I don't believe
I'm cool enough to be a sideways tree
And anyway, what robot boy would date me
Cause instead of nuts and bolts half of my branches are for leaves
Cause instead of plunger guns, all my branches shoot happy
Cause instead of giggling I laugh till I can't breathe

They say he can be a tree too but
That still leaves me feeling overdue
Like apparently I'll grow into a person just like you
And the whole thing rubs me the wrong way like
Some people have always been OK at
Doing things that all robots can do.
But I like my hinges to be greasy and
I dream of journaling on fleet street
replace this bumpy bark with something new
But even though I'm starting to like coffee
and even though my new friends make me happy
I don't feel like a robot just like you.

Maybe that means I'm a robot
But I don't feel like a robot
I guess that's how other robots feel too
Nobody thinks that they're a robot
Or that makes them a weird robot
Can I be in weird robot love with you?
Or is that not how you do it?

credits

from Prom, released May 7, 2012

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Empty Disco Blacksburg, Virginia

they / them pronouns
i will photograph you ~daydream scientist~ & ukulele enthusiast

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