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about

Zine art by Shriram Varadarajan

lyrics

she said come and ride with me, i got into her suv
we drove halfway cross tennessee on bellies full of waffle house coffee
spirits full of old folk music days trips down to chattanooga
i didn't know anybody i didn't know anybody
used to live on st. laurent a house that made us all real sleepy
dark walls and dark sheets and sweating in the summer heat we're dreaming
we don't dream like we used to no, we don't seem like we used to no
industrial dreaming industrial streets, dark dark house with dark dark sheets
my momma takes us all to church whenever I can visit
and it smells like ancient incense and the lace the ladies wear
on their heads like fancy pilgrims fancy pilgrims with good hair
and my mom's not southern baptist but the drama is so there
sometimes i want to shout the preacher into different politics
sometimes the things i used to say, gets me feeling kinda sick
rough callus on my neck is gone my love for violin lives on
but classical can't have the hold it used to have on me
won't pretend i'm a fiddle player or a future pop punk star
don't know what next semester holds sometimes i just can't plan that far
ahead and she asks what i need to get through my next winter
i click on twenty apple seeds this game is such a good distraction
don't starve your people! give them a church!
appreciate the art that went unnoticed in my childhood
appreciate the context for why some people have it so so good
keep criticizing and we both know that's all that we'll do
some people love the negative but just cause i like blue
forms and figures i don't know i can't keep that stuff straight
i can't tell you if art is good are you too critical well i can't say
i'm learning to shut up when organizing with my friends! but
beliefs like that should be intimate and songs don't need resolving ends
she braids my hair like we're in grade school - i got really mean to people
just because you don't notice doesn't mean it's not true - i know it's something i do
i sit at cold desks staring at the lines and numbers on the papers - my pen makes dark marks but it's almost like they're not mine
they say that in your thirties things feel a lot more like resolutions - what's the answer did I study will she hate me if i cry
i built farms and waffle houses why do all my people die -
never in my life have convictions felt so right - never in my life have i felt so at home
never in my life have decisions felt so jarring - only one survivor in my data town alone

credits

from fifty​-​five dog​-​eared wolves, released August 3, 2014

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Empty Disco Blacksburg, Virginia

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i will photograph you ~daydream scientist~ & ukulele enthusiast

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