Weeelll there once was a boy, oh boy a boy who had a favorite friend and that friend was a girl what a girl was a girl That he wanted to ask to prom Their re--lationship was chill You're moronic, just platonic But he really wanted to ask her so He asked all of his friends his other friends to help ask her to prom. Well one tall and skinny guy had a florist's eye and helped him pick out flowers And a ginger-haired girl With a laugh and a twirl Agreed to let him use her car And I was there too They picked me up at noon My job was to take pictures But I also staked out Where the girl had gone She hadn't gone too far So I chilled in her house Like a mouse in her house And enlisted her sister Who agreed to help out With a happy shout Agreed to help the mister So we waited a while Well it felt like a while Until the girl got home, then the boy rang the bell And her mother said well and he said Can I see her? Is she here yet? She came to the door To the open door and he gave her the flowers And she jumped up and down Like a circus clown And them smiled for hours He texted his mom That she'd said yes She said congratulations and his prom date's dad Her mom and her dad Asked me if he was OK. I said yes, how could I have not said yes, this guy's the bomb dot com and the girl and her sister and her other friends And her dad and her dog and her mom all said They're going, They're going, to prom.

If you were a shopping cart I wouldn't know when to start Shopping for summer clothes If you were my first child I wouldn't know when you first smiled Cause I don't know how it usually goes If you were my first kiss I wouldn't know where to put my lips Well I guess I still don't If you were my first love I wouldn't compare you to any hard drugs So I guess I won't But you're not. But you're still special. Well you're not but I still care how you're feeling today You're not any of that stuff which makes you a new kind of tough and I'm something but I'll try anyway If you were a winter wind I wouldn't want you to ever end Ruffling my petals. Cause I'm a flower on a windowsill And I'm tired of being still Solving all the moonlight's riddles I wanna sunbathe on hot sand A little like Alice in Wonderland Was she dreaming the whole time? She was surprised when someone woke her up Guess I think she'd had quite enough No I don't think that I'd mind So does that mean you're going? Okay maybe that makes my chest crunch a little bit But look outside my dear it's started snowing.... I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. If you were a shopping cart, I've returned you to the car park Grocery bag in each hand And I know you wouldn't mind Spending all that trippy time Like Alice in Wonderland. Grocery bag in each hand Like Alice in Wonderland I guess you weren't my man.

I love the word darling-- cause it feels like a vintage postcard from far-- away like a black and white movie Where Jinny Stewart saves the day Thank you darling-- Like in old big band music like both the Fitzgeralds and curls Like garters and stockings... He called me his darling girl We have the word babe. Someday it will sound just as quaint as I think I might faint / honey you're swooning And our kids will think that all our games were cute but much to tame-- they'll all be mooning We'll yell what are you doing? And in our distress we will hold hands at last I'll be normal against this new trend put your pants on my friend oh I hope this will pass But it won't, and we will, we'll rent condos, sit still Rock on chairs cause we like them and i love you bill used to think that old couples were weird and all parents were lame now I see that they're comfortable tame is a nice word I used to like lions now I show them to children in books and I feel unashamed And I'll have a daughter. She'll come to realize I was once just as awkward as her and she'll laugh and feel mighty read Plath and say you liked this stuff And I'll say quite enough! High school not bad, you smarty I know all boys are stupid But they will get better this overcast weather it's not awful For somee people it's raining pouring in their kitchen Open up and just listen Go journal-- come back in two hours and I'll bet you ten dollars that you will be fine Because some of it sucked I lived under a rock So do you cause I raised you Which is why you're tough And my daughter will know me that is if I have one If I want to be mom then I won't be a bad one I'm building a life yeah I'm starting right now and I'll find my fufillment I'll figure out how I won't become my mother But I will be assured that If you want to describe me in four-syllable words I'll take interesting and I feel just like her. All new words are awkward-- and I bet in the forties Darling tripped out of tongues just like me-- Even if I'm not tonguing I'll be confident some day I'll be a cool cute, non-awkward parent.

Everybody is a robot The same laws govern everybody Like when to beep and when to squeak when to tell puny humans to run and flee Everybody is a robot Privy to their robot code That tells them all when to eat and when to dream and how to deal with it when their robot hearts explode But I missed a lesson back in robot school when we were young I must have been reading Harry Potter or the science of the sun I never made it to that party that you see when you think of young Not being a good robot isn't much fun And since the point of robots is respecting code and rules and space and since my idea of the rules is sort of all over the place I couldn't navigate a ship, or if I tried I'd lose the race I'm sorry I am not a robot I'm sorry I'm not a robot I don't know how to be a robot Like you all seem to Can't you tell I'm not a robot Do I want to be a robot And do everything the other robots do? Like build relationship effectively with confidence And find your way to other people's homes Like dance well at big parties and know how to french kiss Without feeling just as sexy as a robot garden gnome Or fall into temptation that is stagnant creativity And really caring what your parents say Not saying it's not effective, robots are super effective But maybe their life isn't just a big partay I'm still sorry I'm not a robot I'm sorry I'm not a robot I don't know how to be a robot Like you all seem to Can't you tell I'm not a robot Do I want to be a robot And do everything the other robots do? On the other hand, I've heard from all my demi-robot cyborg friends that still manage to get a date to prom (after freaking out about it) that what I'm feeling is quite normal as in them every day normal and all robots walk around feeling kind of horrible So maybe I'm a robot tree My growth was stunted, but happy I got enlightenment from awkward angles They say it but I don't believe I'm cool enough to be a sideways tree And anyway, what robot boy would date me Cause instead of nuts and bolts half of my branches are for leaves Cause instead of plunger guns, all my branches shoot happy Cause instead of giggling I laugh till I can't breathe They say he can be a tree too but That still leaves me feeling overdue Like apparently I'll grow into a person just like you And the whole thing rubs me the wrong way like Some people have always been OK at Doing things that all robots can do. But I like my hinges to be greasy and I dream of journaling on fleet street replace this bumpy bark with something new But even though I'm starting to like coffee and even though my new friends make me happy I don't feel like a robot just like you. Maybe that means I'm a robot But I don't feel like a robot I guess that's how other robots feel too Nobody thinks that they're a robot Or that makes them a weird robot Can I be in weird robot love with you? Or is that not how you do it?